What to Say to Someone You Are Not Interested in

I of the hardest parts of dating is telling someone you don't want to become out with them. Whether they're asking for the starting time time or you lot've shared a few dates, you likely feel uncomfortable telling them you aren't interested. Even so, you have a correct to practice what's best for you, so be honest and direct about how y'all feel.

1. one

   Tell them you appreciate their offer or attending. This can take some of the sting out of the rejection. You don't need to give them an elaborate thanks. A single judgement is plenty to convey that you're appreciative of the thought.^[1]

   • Say, "Thanks for complimenting my dress," or "That'southward a actually squeamish offer."
   • You don't have to thank them if they're making you feel uncomfortable. You don't want to transport them the message that their beliefs is okay.

2. ii

   Give them an honest and clear rejection. It may be tempting to exist vague most how you feel in order to spare their feelings, but this volition be worse in the long-run. In add-on to leading them on, you lot'll probable find yourself having to pass up them once more in the future.^[2]

   • You might say, "I don't run into yous that style," or "That's not something I'1000 interested in."

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3. 3

   Avert apologizing for turning them down. You don't owe anyone an amends for feeling the way y'all practice. Additionally, saying you're pitiful makes information technology seem similar you're pitying them, which can injure their feelings more.^[3]

   • Instead of saying, "I'm sorry, I'one thousand not interested," simply say, "I'm not interested in dinner, merely I really appreciate the offer."

4. 4

   Don't try to strength them to be friends with y'all. If someone you're already friends with has developed feelings for you lot, it's difficult to let go of that friendship. Sometimes you genuinely desire to be friends with someone you're non interested in dating. Even so, maintaining a friendship can be barbarous to them. Let them decide what's best for their life, but equally yous become to make up one's mind what's best for y'all.^[4]

   • You might say, "I hope we can still be friends, only I understand if you demand your space."

5. 5

   Save excuses for when you're rejecting a stranger. Information technology's best to avert giving someone excuses, but they can be useful if the person is someone you just met. However, using an excuse opens you up to getting defenseless in a prevarication. If you're going to use an excuse, choose one that doesn't exit room for arguing, and leave the conversation as soon as you give it.^[5]

   • For case, yous might give an alibi if a stranger asks you out in public, every bit it provides an easy style out. However, if you have mutual friends in common with the person, giving them an excuse might come dorsum to seize with teeth you if they talk to your friends. It's usually better to be direct.
   • Typical excuses include, "I'm not set to date anyone right now," "I'm seeing someone," "I'm just too busy right now," or "I simply got out of a relationship."

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1. 1

   Plan out what y'all'll say in advance, if yous can. Knowing what you lot want to say can assistance you let them down nicely. Recollect about the reasons why you don't want to be with them, then focus on the most of import issue. Consider how you lot can share this issues with them in the kindest words possible.^[half-dozen]

   • For case, you might not feel attracted to the person physically. It's not kind to tell them all of the things yous don't like about them. Instead, you lot might exercise saying, "I just don't feel any chemistry," or "That spark is missing."
   • Similarly, you lot might experience like they talk too much. In this case, you lot could say, "I experience like nosotros don't communicate the same way."

2. 2

   Start the conversation by giving them a compliment. Saying something nice can ease the pain of the rejection, but don't spend as well much time telling them how great they are. Otherwise, they may question why y'all don't want to continue seeing them. Likewise, your words might seem hollow when you lot decline them later on telling them how wonderful you think they are.^[7]

   • Requite them a one-judgement compliment, like, "Yous planned such a fun beginning date," or "I really enjoyed talking to you virtually movies because you're so insightful."

3. 3

   Thank them for the dates yous've had. This acknowledges the time they've put into getting to know you. It shows them that you're thinking virtually their feelings, even though what you have to say might hurt.^[8]

   • For instance, y'all could say, "Thank you for these past few dates. I've enjoyed getting to know you."

4. 4

   Tell them things aren't working for you. It'due south up to yous if yous desire to give specific things that aren't working for you lot. If yous but didn't click with the person, you might simply state that. Yet, if you've gone on a couple of dates, information technology might exist helpful to give them a more than specific reason.^[9]

   • Say, "While I had fun, I don't run across this relationship going anywhere. I feel similar we have different goals, and we simply don't seem to be on the same path in life."

   Adept TIP

   Imad Jbara is a Dating Passenger vehicle for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to meliorate their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the Academy of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

   

   Imad Jbara
   Dating Coach

   Don't just ghost someone without notice. If yous don't want to date someone, have the respect to tell them. Don't brand them call back that in that location'southward something there if you're not interested.

5. 5

   Mind to them if they don't agree with you, merely stand your ground. They may non experience the same fashion as you practise, and that's okay. It's nice to let them share their thoughts on the issue, but don't hold to keep dating them if that'southward not what you want. Instead, acknowledge how they feel but restate your intention to pause things off.^[10]

   • As an example, you might say, "I tin empathise why yous feel like we should get on another date, but that's not what'south right for me."

6. half-dozen

   Avoid listing off the reasons why you lot don't want to date them. Beingness honest with someone doesn't mean being hurtful. In most cases, there's no reason to tell someone what you don't similar near them. Doing so will but make your rejection of them feel worse.^[xi]

   • In some cases, y'all might feel like telling them why you're breaking upwardly with them will help them improve themself. However, go along in mind that information technology isn't your identify to tell someone who they should be. Additionally, everyone has unlike preferences, then what annoys you might be attractive to someone else.

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Add New Question

• Question

  How do yous reject someone nicely?

  

  Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, i-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to ameliorate their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the Academy of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

  

  Dating Motorcoach

  Good Answer

  Focusing on your ain, exist honest, be direct. If y'all don't want to talk, have the respect to tell the person that y'all're non interested, that you're busy or dating someone, just don't ghost them. Ghosting means showing that y'all are not confident, or being disrespectful.

• Question

  What if a guy asks me out three times and I say no? Subsequently the 3rd time, is it right to decide non to talk to him?

  

  This answer was written by 1 of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Answer

  If he is constantly asking you out, then it might be best for yous to limit your contact with him. He isn't respecting your decisions, which isn't okay. Mind to your intuition. If you call back yous should stop talking to him, then that's likely the best decision for you.

• Question

  My friend thinks I have a shell on her, simply I don't. What do I do? By the way I'thousand 13, so it can get really bad-mannered at this historic period.

  

  This answer was written by one of our trained squad of researchers who validated information technology for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Answer

  It'due south best to talk to your friend most how you actually experience. Say, "We are really bully as friends, and I would never want to risk our friendship. I don't want to injure your feelings because I care well-nigh you lot, just I'm non interested in being more than than friends."

• Question

  What if proverb no really upsets them?

  

  This answer was written by i of our trained squad of researchers who validated information technology for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Answer

  It's normal for people to exist upset when they feel rejected by someone, but rejection is unavoidable sometimes. Y'all don't owe anyone your attending or a relationship. If they are trying to make you feel bad, then they aren't being fair to you.

• Question

  The guy I am Not interested in is coming to visit my town from far away, and he has already spent all the travel money. How should I deal with this?

  

  This answer was written past one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Reply

  Offset, it's probably best that you not encounter up with this person when they're in town, as they aren't respecting your wishes. Additionally, talk to your friends and family unit to let them know what's going on and then that you lot have supports in place for when he's in town. You might also want to let him know that you lot programme on giving him his space while he's in boondocks, as you're not interested in him that way. Say, "I hope you lot have a great trip, but I have other plans that calendar week. I'm not interested in meeting up with you." If he tries to force per unit area you into meeting or doing something yous don't want, tell someone who can help you. You do not owe him annihilation.

• Question

  How exercise I tell my guy friend that I'thousand in a relationship?

  

  This answer was written by i of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Respond

  It'due south best to exist direct with him. Say, "I want to tell you nearly the guy I've been seeing." You could likewise commencement the conversation with something similar, "I met a really nice guy at a political party, and we've been on a few dates."

• Question

  How do I tell someone not to visit?

  

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Answer

  Be straight in telling them how you feel. Say, "I capeesh that you lot're willing to come here, just I don't want to meet up with you." If they decide to come anyhow, don't agree to go see them, as they're not existence fair to yous.

• Question

  Will my crush e'er leave me alone?

  

  This respond was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  

  wikiHow Staff Editor

  Staff Reply

  If y'all've told him you aren't interested simply he keeps pursuing you, inquire him to exit you lot solitary. Say, "I've already told you 'no,' then please stop request." If he still keeps making you uncomfortable, tell someone you tin can trust. For instance, at school, you might tell your instructor or a advisor.

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• Being direct most your feelings can be scary, simply lying or fugitive the other person rarely works. In nigh cases, that results in you having to reject them over and over again, which is unpleasant for both of you.

• Don't gossip about the person or publicize your rejection of them.

• Consider the other person's feelings when deciding how to movement forward later on you let them know you're not interested. Although y'all may really desire to be friends, this might not be what'southward best for them, especially if it makes them concord out hope that you'll change your mind.

• Never ghost someone you've already made plans with. If you lot change your listen nearly wanting to appointment them, just tell them the truth.

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• Breaking upward is always a difficult, painful decision. Nevertheless, it's not kind to try to push the other person to breakup with you then that you don't accept to do it.

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Article Summary Ten

To tell someone you're non interested in a date, explicate to them that yous capeesh the offering, which can help have some of the sting out of a rejection. For instance, endeavour saying something like, "That's a dainty offer." When you reject an offer, practice so clearly by saying something like, "That'due south not something I'grand interested in," since you lot don't desire to lead someone on by existence vague nigh your feelings. You should besides avoid apologizing for turning them downwardly, since you lot don't demand to feel sorry for your feelings. After you've rejected someone's offer, permit them decide whether they desire to stay friends, which may be hard for them. Endeavor telling them something like, "I hope we can still be friends, merely I empathize if you need your space." For tips on how to tell someone y'all're not interested subsequently you've been on a few dates, keep reading!

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